Keeping a luminous mind ~

Finally back home after my first year wtf. I'm so tired, and I still have to find a job for the summer! I like too many nice things and as a poor student, can't own a single one. Mostly skincare, not going to lie, since I've been having a panic about being twenty (!) next month and don't want to start getting wrinkles. Prevention is better than cure! I've been looking into Korean skincare in particular since it's meant to be about 12 years ahead of European, plus all the products are so cute! And reading about the science, it seems sound. I refuse to get old with grace, I'm going out kicking and screaming. How can I have had approximately a quarter of my life, yet accomplished none of the things I really want to so far? Someone invent a drug that lets me live forever, and stay as I am right now (but preferably  more successful... I can't be poor forever, right?)

I also got my results. They weren't exactly what I wanted... but they're probably what I deserved. I did piss around for the first two terms of the year. After all, first year doesn't count, and now I know the kind of work needed for next year. So what if I wanted to have a little fun this year? Now, I should accept the consequences of the fun. For that reason I am not too disappointed in the results.

And... I moved my stuff into my new uni house before I left! It's super exciting, even though it's just a student house. My room is the third biggest, but has the best lighting and desk chair. It's leather and swivelly, so's I can feel like Dr. Octopus whenever someone enters. Also jacked a housemate's full length mirror, since he's a guy and won't use it.

Been taking so many selfies omg. Mostly to cheer myself up after exams and leaving uni. If you think about it, my thought process is really messed up...

- feels sad about not getting firsts in everything
- scolds self, "Why are you miserable?? You did better than many people! Besides you chose to have fun, remember?? Oh, probably you can't, you can't even remember all of glycolysis and you only learned that a few months ago."
- feels sad about scolding
- takes selfie to stop thinking about being sad
- filters it to death
- "I might not get firsts all the time but I'm looking good!"
- feels guilty for vanity
- feels sad about not getting firsts in everything and only being good for photos

 The above selfie is the last one in my old room... goodbye! You will be missed. The place of many a gathering and drunken escapade. It's weird to think some fresher will have it now. Use it well, young and innocent one.

Use it well.

(For those who care to know, the filter is from an app called Camera 360 and is called 'sweet' under 'magic skin'. I also enhance the saturation a little, but it looks too much on my computer screen. It looks super nice on my ipod though.)

As for writing, I'm plotting plotting plotting! I've worked a few other aspects in; I want to focus more on the disappearances of those who oppose Rosita's regime, and the way they are collectively forgotten. The world building is so tight now, I know exactly how it looks - the hypermodern, futuristic, beautiful hologram world, covering up the grit and the grime of poverty and suffering. Some of the tech is really looking fun too - thought control, drugs, hypergrip shoes... It's going to be pretty 'visually' in people's heads, I hope! A combination of beautiful and disturbing.

I figure since I screwed up my results a little, I'd better get on and write this book and make it a success.

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